Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Rock on

I rocked Charlie to sleep for his nap yesterday. And as his breath got slower and deeper, his limbs went slack, and his face became totally serene, I thought, "I'm not going to get to do this for much longer." And I was a little sad. And surprised to be sad. You see, naptime used to be stressful because I would have to rock or nurse Charlie or drive him around in the car (the only plus to that is now, if he falls asleep in the car, I can get him out of his car seat, take off his boots and coat, and put him in his crib -- and he stays asleep!) to get him to sleep. Many times the only way he would stay asleep was if there was a boob in his mouth or he was snoozing on my lap and I was rocking, rocking, endlessly rocking. Now he expects his nap, and usually all it takes is a few stories, some songs in the rocking chair, and a few pats on the back in his crib to get him off to sleep. In the early days, I used to fantasize about such independence. I rejoiced when it finally happened. But yesterday it was nice to hold my little boy, who is no longer a baby, and rock him to sleep without feeling frustrated (because all the sleep advice I was getting wasn't working), resentful (so much for napping when the baby naps), guilty (for feeling resentful), and totally exhausted (because I wasn't sleeping during the day or all that much at night). What a difference a year can make. And meds. And therapy. Lots and lots of therapy.

1 comment:

Sharlene said...

This is good news to me because we are in the "nipple, rocking, lap" phase. It's good to see that there is light at the end of the tunnel. :)